Infant Thoughts
by Zarius
Summary: Alan was only beginning to realize the importance of a dream before it was snatched from him and his family (tag for "Up From The Depths Part Two, also contains unashamedly mild moments of Kayan)


**THUNDERBIRDS ARE GO!**

 **INFANT THOUGHTS**

 **(Contains spoilers for "Up From The Depths Part 2")**

 **WRITTEN BY ZARIUS**

* * *

The TV-21 was a dream come true.

The biggest nightmares come when such dreams die.

Alan had only come to understand just how much the first manifestation of his father's aspirations had meant to him and to his entire family, courtesy of an energised and inspired speech from his proud grandmother.

She had done much to temper the Tracy clan this day, first by reacting quickly to Scott's dilemma as Thunderbird 1 spiralled down from the heavens, having been overpowered by the propulsion engine of the TV-21 in a frantic attempt to snatch it back from The Mechanic. Her voice, her advice, helped pull Scott out what would have been a demeaning fate.

This Bird would _not_ slip from the skies.

Grandma had also been instrumental in supplying Kayo with back-up when the hotshot rookie decided to make her move and embark on a professional hit on The Mechanic, tracking him to the Scottish highlands. Fearful that she would be overwhelmed, Grandma had enlisted the aid of Penelope and Parker.

It worked, they functioned well as a unit, overcoming The Mechanic's traps, but were denied a moment of revelation when they tried to unmask him. They came to put the power back into their hands, to dethrone a God from Olympus, only to be met with nothing but a drone, the master of the domain long absent, and he ensured his domain did not last long without him as he triggered hidden explosives. Kayo, Parker and Penelope barely made it out in time.

As Alan saw the TV-21 go up in flames, he took the time to utter an apology to his father, hoping that, wherever he was, he would sense it and in some way assure him in spirit that it was ok to grieve, and to move forward with their lives now that a reminder of their past had to be sacrificed to ensure safer futures for each and every one of them.

When Alan and Scott returned home, Grandma was there to assure them again. She told them all that their father would not have wanted his legacy to take precipice over the real good that International Rescue could accomplish when they put their best foot forward and focused on the important matters.

Later that night, Alan got out of bed early and went to the breakfast bar to pour himself some cereal, still drifting, lost still in fresh and infant thoughts of what the TV-21 had meant to his father and family. He was coming to terms with what had been stolen from all of them.

For his brothers, a key component of their past desires that paved the way for their shining present.

For him, a steadfast calling to a more adult world. A world we all come to understand better through the words and deeds of a father.

He spotted his father's hat on the sofa; he walked over and picked it up.

He had worn it earlier in the afternoon in a playful manner, but now he was casting it in a different light.

Gordon had remarked how silly it had been to wear a hat like that, but Alan saw it as a symbol of his father, and a blessing from his spirit.

A treasured item from an infant age.

A perfect match for his imperfect, infant thoughts.

A sudden noise made him turn.

"Don't jump through the roof, it's only me" said Kayo, barely able to keep her eyes open, trying to close up her barely buttoned nightshirt.

"The day keeping the night at bay for you too huh?" he asked.

"It's nothing Alan, really" she said.

"Oh it's something alright, it's ok Kayo, and you came pretty close to nailing our dream crasher" Alan said, putting the hat on her head and raising her chin up with a light touch of his middle finger. Kayo giggled.

"Are you ever going to take milk with that?" she said, pointing at the dry contents of his cereal bowl.

"I'll let you know whenever you decide to take actual back-up with you, and not force Grandma to match you up with some" Alan said, refusing to let Kayo move the goalposts on this dicey subject.

"Sorry, I know you want me to confront my issues with this, it's just I'm always that fixated on settling scores with The Hood...he's been my burden for so long, it's just in my nature to keep his world exclusive to mine, that I somehow need to be the one to protect all of you from him. Now I'm worried I'll become fixated on solving this crisis by myself all the more" Kayo replied.

"We're all like that in our infancy Kayo...doesn't matter if it's a mission involving espionage or rescuing people in need, we all think it's our personal responsibility, our burden to bear, but what keeps us going is we realize that, yes it's OUR responsibility, not yours or mine, but OURS. We, as a unit, share all we have, the risk, the reward, all of it" Alan advised.

Kayo grabbed his right hand and gracefully stroked it; she placed the hat back on his head.

"Somehow I don't think it takes milk to keep you growing" she said, and kissed him on the nose before heading back to her bedroom.

Alan watched her go, wondering if, just maybe, his thoughts could finally afford to move past their present stage of infancy.


End file.
